Reading leftie newspapers is a mug’s game that can only end in impotent rage, but this opinion piece sums up everything currently wrong with that worldview; its grotesque exaggerations, its misleading thesis, its utter vacuous idiocy. I don’t care if someone breastfeeds on a plane, but I do care when the innocent act is misappropriated …
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Leather and Lace
Another one from the archives. The incident in question happned in 1998. I wrote about it a few years later. Little I’ve seen during subsequent nocturnal promenades has been as diverting. Allow me to set the scene. 3am, Tollcross, Edinburgh. Staggering merrily home from an after hours drinking establishment. Returning home to hearthless, sterile university …
Closed Mouths and Addled Minds
“Indonesia always does well in the Department of #YouCouldn’tMakeItUp” – Elizabeth Pisani Sometimes one awakens to a juxtaposition so perfect it would make the Super Furry Animals weep into their rarebit. Let’s go to the well-dressed Bruce Buffer for the introductions: “Ladies and gentlemen this is the MAIN EVENT of the evening! This bout is …
Vince and Donald
It is 1988 and Wrestlemania IV has recently concluded to general disappointment to all who bore witness to its interminable tournament. We are at the Trump Plaza in New Jersey and two rather horrible men are about to set in motion a chain of events that would have dire consequences for humanity some decades later. …
Something is Rotten in the State of Flavortown…
To call most of the content of the Food Network “food porn” is an insult to pornography. To make a living by acting in stag movies requires both physical and psychological strength beyond the reach of most mortals. Being a presenter on the Food Network requires little more than an endless supply of verbal effluvia …
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A Very Short Story from 2007, The Winch
Look, I was 27. Reading it back, though, I think I was driving at a hamfisted metaphor for blogging and capitalism something something. I probably just wanted to use the word “boon”. And now here we are… A month ago I bought a winch and carried it home. It’s in the garden now, all glimmering …
Lift to Experience
Entering a lift is fraught with danger. There are certain rituals one must follow so as not to upset the applecart of commonly agreed upon behaviour concerning perpendicular travel or else face the End of the World. There are also various personality types one can observe while steadfastly trying to avoid eye contact, often difficult …
When the Recession is Bogus and Ducks are Fat
I wrote this 10 years ago. It’s nice to see that both I and things haven’t changed all that much. I’m a bit ambivilent about resurrecting the witterings of my younger self, but heck, why not? Might as well keep a record. I was really into free market capitalism, P.J O’Rourke and exclamation marks at …
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The Curious Case of Hallie Rubenhold Vs The Online Trolls
Hallie Rubenhold’s book The Five – The Untold Lives of Jack the Ripper’s Victims certainly put the cat among the pigeons in the world of Ripperology when it was published in March, and no doubt boosted her sales as a result given how her carny narrative has been swallowed by the mainstream press. That term …
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The Bottle Dungeon 